I sat down on the stump and allowed the sound of the water to soothe my soul. When I had complained about karma coming after me for some wrong I’d done, Grams chewed my ass out and said I was being kept alive for something I had yet to do. Fate had tried to kill me twice, and I had survived both times, so I obviously had a purpose for still being here. That purpose manifested itself in front of me. I was so used to Cindy being around me now that I had stopped being surprised when she showed up. She climbed down the bank and stood in the water.
“Can you feel that? Can you feel the water rushing over your feet?”
She shook her head no. The little girl bent down and tried to run her hand through the rolling water, but nothing happened. It was in that moment that I vowed to stop being a whiny bitch. This little girl had lost her life, most assuredly in a horrific way, and I was complaining because I was alive. She floated back onto the bank and walked toward me. Cindy climbed up on my lap and leaned her head against my good shoulder. I would have given anything to feel her hair tickling my neck. This precious child needed comfort, and I couldn’t give it to her.
“I’m sorry I got hurt, but I promise I’ll start searching for clues again real soon. I have to go to see Dr. Carr tomorrow, so I’ll stop by the old fairground then.” Her essence combined with mine briefly, letting me know she was okay with what I had said. It was the strangest feeling, having another entity flow through you. She leaned back and mouthed something. Of course I couldn’t hear her and reminded her of it. She jumped down from my lap and mimed singing into a microphone. “You want me to sing?” Cindy nodded so hard, her hair bounced up and down. “Okay, kid. It’s your ears.”
I’d been in a pensive mood ever since Orlando’s visit at the hospital, so I decided to sing something upbeat. I started belting out Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours”, and my little ghost started dancing. She grabbed the sash of her dress, holding on to both dirty ends as she twirled around, making her blue dress float around her. For the first time since she appeared to me, Cindy smiled, and I laughed. I was so caught up in the connection between the two of us that I didn’t hear the footsteps behind me. When a voice joined mine, blending in perfect harmony, I froze and Cindy disappeared.
I wanted to stop singing so badly, but I wanted to continue hearing his beautiful voice worse. I closed my eyes and sang, because if I looked up at Orlando, I’d have probably done something really unmanly. Like cried. And begged. And begged while I was crying. I’m not sure what I’d have begged him for, but it seemed the right thing to do. After the song was over, only then did I open my eyes. “We always did sound good together,” he whispered.
“I wish I could remember that.” I spoke honestly, keeping my eyes to the spot where Cindy had been. “I want so badly to remember it all, and I bet you’d probably like to forget.”
“Honestly? Yes. Most days I would like to forget I ever met you. Then there are the good days I cling to what we had and hope it wasn’t my only shot at ever finding love. But if it was, then at least I knew a love like no other.”
Orlando’s words killed me. Stabbed me in the heart, twisted, and pulled the organ out of my chest, tossing it to the ground where it landed with a flat thud at my feet. Then I remembered that he had a wife and child. If what he just said was true, he didn’t love his wife. God, how screwed up was that?
“Before we get to the reason I’m here, would you mind telling me who you were singing and laughing with when I walked up?”
Well, fuck.
*ARC Provided for an Honest Review*
I feel like I just went on an adventure. I have never finished a paranormal book before and now I just did because of one mistake. I'm telling you now, this is not the kinds of books that I read and I don't think that after this I'll start opening up to the possibility that I might read another one in the next few days. I signed up for the ARC thinking it would be just another MM Romance but I never thought this would be the book that would open up my mind so much about things. Therefore, it is a mistake that turned out to be a blessing.
I enjoyed the book. The issues and the struggles of Dex trying to move forward with his life after losing his memory was something that I wouldn't forget. His relationship with Lan is even more interesting seeing as he don't remember the boy nor does he remember the feelings but he knows its there. I think Dex is one great example of a man trying to move forward and being thankful of his new life. In real cases, most people who's in Dex's place would be ungrateful and they'd usually prefer to be dead and because of this, Dex has made me realize that not every occurrences in my life needs to be over thought. Sometimes I just have to move past things and try a new life.
